


purgatory

by gotham_ruaidh



Series: Gotham Writes for Imagine Claire & Jamie [17]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotham_ruaidh/pseuds/gotham_ruaidh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In A breath of snow and ashes, please write the scene where Roger or Brianna find Jamie to tell him that Claire has woken up from the fever. Jamie thought they'd come to tell him that Claire had died. And then he rushes over to her. Sadly it was left out in the book. // Imagine Jamie POV when Claire was ill in a Breath of Snow and Ashes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	purgatory

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt sent in to [Imagine Claire & Jamie ](http://imagineclaireandjamie.tumblr.com/post/133409025725/in-a-breath-of-snow-and-ashes-please-write-the)on tumblr. I'm posting my Imagine prompts here on AO3 for easier reading and in case there's anyone here who might not be on tumblr. Do feel free to check out the blog and send in prompts if you have more ideas for our favorite pair!

Purgatory. Yes, this must be what those poor lost souls felt, neither saved nor damned. Not in one place or another. Eternally waiting. Eternally without an answer.

She lay upstairs, not alive but not dead. A prisoner within her own body. He could protect her from hunger, put a roof over her head, fight off attackers – but he couldn’t protect her from herself.

This was it, then. His life finally catching up with him. His punishment for so very many things – lying, killing, stealing. Deceiving men who were less clever than him. But above all – willfully stealing another man’s wife, and begging God – selfishly – for her to stay with him. In a time full of violence and danger.

Jamie slumped in his chair, pushing away the ledger. Brianna, bless her, had suggested he get some time to himself – meaning, time away from Claire – and the study was the only logical place to go. It was the only room in the house that was truly his – and which showed no sign of Claire’s touch.

But it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to see physical reminders of her to feel her all around him – feel her with him in everything he thought and did. Feel his heart upstairs, lying quietly in that bed, pulse fluttering wildly like a hummingbird’s wings.

It was Claire’s body lying in that bed, but it wasn’t Claire. Claire was constantly in motion, whisky eyes darting about as she took stock of the world around her. Claire’s hair was as wild as she was – as beautiful and contradictory and untamed as she was. Claire wasn’t the silent, still, shorn form lying in that bed.

_Why are ye doing this, man? To soften the blow when she doesna wake up?_

He covered his face with his hands and sighed. The sigh came from somewhere deep inside of him – some depth of despair that he never knew existed.

_Is this what Da felt, as Mam died? Powerless, as she lay upstairs, tended by the women, killed by her own body?_

A crash upstairs – and then the wordless murmur of raised voices.

Jamie’s heart raced. His throat parched. He tried to stand, but was rooted to the seat, absolutely paralyzed by fear.

Footsteps – slow, methodical – down the stairs. And then Roger Mac stood in the doorway, clutching his Bible. He didn’t speak. The hum of voices upstairs continued.

_Holy God. Please. Please, no. Take me. Have me. Not her. Never her._

Jamie tried to speak – but only a strangled sound came from his lips. Roger rushed to his side, laying a solid hand on his shoulder.

“Claire –” Roger began.

“Tell it to me straight,” Jamie rasped. “Did she suffer?”

“Suffer?” Those green eyes – the witch’s eyes – widened in shock. “No, man. She’s awake.”

“Awake?” Worry seeped out of him like blood from a wound.

“Yes, she’s awake. You need to see her.”

Jamie squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed. He gripped Roger’s hand – once soft, now calloused like his own. “Truly? She’s awake?”

Gently, Roger helped his father-in-law upright. “Yes, she’s awake,” he said patiently. “Let me take you to her.”

On his feet now, Jamie shuddered. “I –”

“Hush. Come on, man. She’s already trying to get out of bed.”

Jamie blinked at Roger – and smiled – and finally cried.


End file.
